He tries to follow what she says, he can feel his breath coming too fast-- all the more stupid because he doesn't need it but he can't make himself stop. One hand grips her hand harder, but other rises up to cover his face.

"My wife is here. If she got hurt. If I changed, I'd-- Dios, you don't know, the things I said to her like that. What I would have done...!" There are no more tears but it still sounds like a sob, what comes from him. This was supposed to be behind him, and now it's here. Wanting protect Coco and he came back here, dios, why is he so stupid?

"I still remember how it felt. I wish I didn't." His head shakes. "It doesn't make sense. Even with some kind of deal with the school, there's a person here who tortures Hollows, there's all the radiance, there's everyone around... I rose from the dead for my little girl and I still couldn't beat that. I don't understand what it could want. I don't get how..."

He draws his other hand back, covering his face with both hands now. Maybe it was him. Maybe he failed somehow. He can't meet her eyes once his hands drop. His head shakes.

"I can only think the school made a deal. Maybe they saw he was in control and wanted to understand. Keep it from happening again. But I can't imagine what could possibly be worth it." Nothing had been worth more than stopping the hunger in him. "Do you know where he is?"